i am an emotional mess...

can i take a break from addressing christmas cards?  why don't they address themselves, dang it!?!

anyway... i have been emotional lately.  my sweet little guy turns 5 on monday.  5.  

5 is old.  5 is a big birthday.  time is going so quickly.

to say i have been emotional about it all is the understatement of the season.  add that to the fact that it could be our last christmas season in fort worth. 

and then the tragic events of the day in connecticut.  so senseless and scary.  horrifying.  sickening.  

anyway, i am a complete basket case about ethan growing up {which, of course, is what i want.   i want my son to grow up!  i am happy he is here with me.  its just happening so fast.}

so, we went to church last weekend, just me and the kids, and since that was the case savannah had the pleasure of going to her sunday school class because i didn't feel up to the whole outnumbered-in-church scenario, where little people want to talk during quiet moments.  and it was full orchestra sunday, with special music from the choir and the youth and children's choir.  it was a full house.  

and can i take a minute to tell you i really love our church??  i love it.  my babies were baptized there.  the building is beautiful.  the music, always fantastic.  it is traditional methodist, with all the hymns and the prayers and the liturgy that i learned from years of going to church.  there are no big screens. or jazzy bands.  it isn't trendy.  and the sermons are fantastic.  applicable.  poignant.  

and i love christmas time at our church.  it is moving. 

anyway, ethan and i walked in, and squeezed into a pew close to the front.  the lady next to us (that i did not know) didn't scoot over quite enough, so i felt like we were now a trio sitting there.  and then they started in with the first noel.  

and i started crying.  i. could. not. stop.  it was just so beautiful.  and the children were singing.  and the orchestra.  but lets just hope the cameras didn't capture me crying.

and the snot coming out of my nose.

and the lady sitting too close to us for me to grab a bib or a diaper to wipe my face since of course i had no tissue.  thank god that lady next to me saw my despair and gave me a tissue. 

can i tell you it took me 40 minutes to regain composure from that first verse of the first hymn?  

i am a mess, folks.

in other news, ethan is now a yellow stripe belt in tae kwon do.

here he is with his teacher and his buddy pierson after his belt test last week.  tae kwon do is awesome.  pierson's mom is awesome.  and that's another whole post for a different day :)

have a happy weekend.  i will be avoiding sad movies and the like.  i am emotional enough as it is... :)

and now... back to the cards.  and i should probably cook dinner, too.   eeek.

xoxo, s