Thank you!

Hi, sweet blog friends. Our wireless modem is barely functioning. So no modem/wifi = very limited blogging. I can hope we are all back to normal by Tuesday night... But that is if everything goes as planned...

Since that is the case, I thought I better just sit down and type this up on my iPad. Which, thankfully has 3G, but still... No photos from my computer :)... And the blogger app I have is for my iPhone. Totally annoying. (Gotta love these first world problems, eh?)

Anyway, the purpose of this post is that a gigantic thank you is in order to all of you that sent warm thoughts my way, as I had a much better week. And feel like I am getting better... I felt beyond blessed with the encouraging things you said in your comments and text messages :)

Thank you!

I even made it to the zoo with the kids last week when it was so pretty out... So when technology is back to status quo in our house, I'll do a big blog photo dump :)


Xoxo, s

bathtubs and trust

i have a board on pinterest with dream home ideas.  i mean, doesn't everyone these days?  so for the last 11 months, i have stored up these images... and you know, i only have 6 bathtub photos.  it must mean i am super picky about bathtubs.  not surprising.  i like these... but neither seems perfect.

Source: travelfoodartanddesign.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Source: tumblr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

however, i am thankful for my bathtub.  but its more of a love/hate relationship.

you see, it is not the biggest.  i have to lay diagonally for the best fit.

our water heater {which i think is dying, btw} will only provide hot water for a quarter of it in the winter {now, in the summer, i don't think we really have cold water available in the pipes...}  and it is enamel... so it cools the water down quickly.  so bath time means i have to constantly fill up the tub in increments.  to match the water heater's pace.

it is an eyesore.  it desperately needs re-caulking.   the faucet and knobs are off-center from the drain.  there are cracks in the tile.

it is ugly.

it has no ledge on any side to hold a candle.  or a shampoo bottle.  or bath salts.  i have to set those things on the closed toliet lid.

but it is mine. {i mean, mine and the other people who live here.}

and after not having a tub for four years in college {collins -- ewww.  no one used that tub!!; apartment number 1 - my bathroom had only a shower.  apartment number 2 - my bathroom had only a shower and sometimes i wore flip-flops because it was that bad.}

i was pleased with it when i moved into this house.  yes, i haven't yet moved yet.  i'm never bitter. :)

and though i continue to have tub lust... i am satisfied and grateful for mine.

it is where i get to do a lot of thinking.  maybe you do that, too?  think in the shower?  the bathtub?

well, i do.  and i was thinking about how i am still sick.

yes, still sick.  and how much it sucks.  i mean, really, really, really, sucks.  for my family.  for me.  i could spiral down in my own pity party if i am not careful.

and i was praying... and meditating on how to pray when i am sick.  praying for healing... yes.  but it didn't seem right.  i believe that god is good.  that he is faithful.  that he works all things for his good.  sooo... it didn't seem right to complain to god about his plan.

and then - it hit me.

god, please help me trust the plan.  that was all i needed to pray.  i need to trust him to help me get through being sick.  i need to trust his plan.  because i believe he is good.

and then, this humbling feeling washed over me.  i need help trusting the plan.  with everything.  my kids.  where we will live.  money.  schools.  jobs.  life.  i need to trust the plan.  and pray for grace and mercy.

and maybe you do, too.  i hope you all have a wonderful start to your week.

xoxo, s

sweet day

ethan was pretty interested in valentine's day this year.

he picked out his valentine via my choices i gave him from pinterest {and you can get the free download here}

and he was thrilled when i picked up the magnifying glasses at the party store. 

he wrote his name 17 times.  i'll be honest - they ranged in quality.  some were missing letters.  and i purposefully didn't correct him or control it.

he cut out hearts...  i was impressed with my little non-crafter.

i did the stapling.  he did the glue-sticking.  he twisted hearts with pipe cleaners.  he melted my heart with adorable-ness.

he sang skidamarink a dink a dink while he diligently worked.  my heart melted some more.

and on monday, he received a bag full of valentines from his friends and has carried it around all week.

tuesday, valentine's day came, and the kids were pleased with their heart shaped toast with cherry jelly.  no need to spend money here... my kids were very impressed with my skills.

and then we went to buy my husband some cigars.  or smoke bars, as ethan calls them.  and since i waited until the 11th hour, i had no other options but to take my littles to the cigar shop.  where they really were on their best behavior.  walking in the humidor room... actually not touching anything.  {thank you lord - i didn't want to buy a full box.}  and savannah and ethan even sat in the chairs while i paid.  ethan got a big kick out of trying to mimic the poses of the huge native american carving {first nation's people?  indian?  what exactly is pc here?}  and then the shop owner was so nice he let them pick out a drink.  {sigh.  sprite was our best choice.  its still in my purse.  and i think i did a good job of feigned excitement - "yay!  a sprite!  tooth decay!!" i was fortunate that the shop owner wasn't irritated that little people were all over the 18+ world and wanted to reward them for good behavior}

we bought ingredients for dinner - rosemary pork loin -- parsley, parmesan mashed potatoes -- oven roasted asparagus.  believe or not, that night, both kids enjoyed their food.  ethan even ate asparagus.  so that he could eat candy daddy had brought them.

ethan wanted us to pick flowers for the table - so it could be like a restaurant.  and he found magazines and set them on the table... and just now as i am typing this, i realized he wanted them to be menus.  so sweet.

ethan and i cooked dinner while sister napped.  and we made brownies for dessert... really thin brownies...

so that the kids could cut them into hearts.  not fancy.  but easy.     

i think now that i have kids, i enjoy valentine's day more than i ever have.  ironic, isn't it?  the whole day was so sweet.  both kids telling me i love you and giving me hugs.

but to keep it real, i will say, ethan ran away from me in a parking lot and ate more brownies when i said stop... so he also earned a stinker badge :)

xoxo, s

lessons learned

hi y'all.

sequence rummy. it's a game i bought for the kids. you know, beginning, middle, end. i clearly need to put those skills into practice. obviously my cause and effect sensors are not so sensitive.

you see, i have 2 lessons for you today. you should really learn from my mistakes... because both were not fun. at. all.

lesson 1
i can't seem to catch a break. i don't want to sound all pathetic on here, but just to keep it real, let me say: if you take antibiotics for one week - and then take antibiotics another week - you better be taking probiotics of some sort.

to avoid tmi, i will only tell you that i have been sick sick sick with some sort of little bug that probably wouldn't have bothered me all that much, but i had no flora in my intestines. all the good stuff was killed off. and man, oh, man. friday morning i thought hmmm... somethings not right. by saturday morning i was begging for mercy. i *think* i am on the mend.

and i will be drinking kefir everyday for the rest of my life.

i actually felt better after drinking some. i don't think it was coincidental. did i mention that i had kefir for the kids... kefir i reserve for the children but don't give to myself because i want our grocery bill to be smaller. its like the oxygen mask on the air plane. why can't i get it???

i am curious... has anyone made their own kefir? am i crazy for thinking this might be a good thing?? i mean, if it wasn't as complicated as it seems, i think it would save me a great deal of money. or maybe not... i think raw milk is pricy... it costs so much to be healthy.

anyway, thanks to my husband, my mother-in-law, kefir, and gaterade; i am on the mend.

lesson 2
if you have to tattoo it on your forehead, please do not forget to pick up your husband's only real option of an interview suit at the dry cleaners. saturday, at 4:51, i had this horrifying realization. the cleaners closed a mere 51 minutes prior. his plane left on sunday. they re-opened on monday.

so what's a desperate housewife to do?? make stalkerish, desperate attempts to get in touch with the owner. it worked. praise god. mortified all the way around. let's not talk about this again. okay??

and really, don't cut me any slack about having kids, etc. i mean, you are nice if you thought to do that, but really, don't. even with ethan sick, i still managed to go to the store and pick up printer ink and valentines supplies. i made it to the store to get juice boxes for savannah's valentine's party. i simply forgot. dropped the ball.

whew! now that i have that off my chest maybe i can come back here and write a post where i will look back fondly at my son making valentines and my daughter answering knock-knock jokes.

'til then,
xoxo,
s

ode to the blue pen

so ethan's little friend kingston had a very cool blue pen.  i mentioned it in my last post.

the pen that ethan wanted sooooo badly.

the pen i couldn't buy him.

the pen that prompted kingston's mom to call the company who sent them their pen.  and she asked for one that ethan could have.

and the little blue pen came in the mail.  

it's my february miracle.  it's blue.  it folds.  it attaches to the little guy's belt loops.

and now, believe it or not, he has been hard at work writing all kinds of important things.  like numbers.

it's the little things.  really, it is.

xoxo, s

all the way around

i took these on friday... my attempt to do structured activities when we didn't have school...

ethan put his hands behind his back, asked me "guess how much i love you?" and said "all the way around."

i melted.  i mean.  could life be any sweeter?

apparently he told that to his nana as well.  and after some investigating, i think that his grammy taught him that gem.

m e l t

in other news, i am on the mend.  i am sure you didn't know otherwise, but last week i had a crippling sinus infection.  why on earth, when i started to feel bad on monday, did i not call my friend who is married to an ent guru?

i wish i could say that was the first major mistake of the week.   last week was a week of extremes... great things... crappy things...

let me back up... sunday evening.  my mother-in-law is at my house... we are talking about my husband's upcoming trip and how she would be dropping him off at the airport the next morning.  she says, "do you have all his hotel and rental car stuff squared away?"  i think it was more of a space filler type question.  not really wondering if i had done all of that.  because surely, the night before, it would be done, right??

wrong.

completely. slipped. my. mind.

so sunday night i booked things, and spent awhile on google maps trying to make sure things were indeed squared away.  and i made these great little packets with hotel/car rental/driving directions from point a - b- c- and back to a.  beautiful work that should have been done a while back.

so he leaves... the kids wake up.  ethan acts like a turd.... its all a little fuzzy.  but i am sure it had everything to do with the little guy not listening to me and not wanting to get dressed.

i make it to the grocery store and start having some sort of anxiety attack where i have to remove my jacket and scarf and find a bottle of water to start drinking.  its a busy week.  i'm off my game.   too. much. to. do.

but it wasn't.  i mean, i think that my not feeling 100% started compounding my natural stress over a busy week.  a meltdown in the grocery store is not normal.  it didn't help that i had forgotten my list.

and it didn't help that i had a list of expectations in my mind of what fun filled things i should do with the kids while the weather was perfect.  the zoo.  the stock show.  the botanical gardens.  take ethan to ride his bike.  insert mom guilt here for not getting any of those things done.

at preschool pick up, all ethan talked about was his friend's blue pen.  a pen that folds.  that was a promotional pen.  that was sent in the mail.  the kind with a minimum order.  the type of gimmicky pen that won't be at staples.  i would have spent $10 on a pen at that point to end the constant whining about the pen. he didn't shut up about blue pen for a week.  it got so bad at one point, i bought him a transformer to shift the focus off the pen that i couldn't produce.  you'd have done it, too.  don't be judgey.

anyway, we ended up spending the afternoon with a dear friend.  my friend was welcoming and generous and invited us to stay for dinner since faustino was out of town.  which, i have to say, it is a beautiful thing to share a meal with friends.  in that sense, the week was off to a fabulous start.

one thing that must be noted, is the fact that my friend's backyard is a child's paradise.  and my children were using 140% of their energy.  and might have been incredibly overtired.  and we might have had a very sleepless night that night.  one were my wiggly little cuddler savannah managed to fall asleep on my for half an hour or so.  and in that moment, it didn't matter how tired i was.  her sweet little sleeping face on my chest, and ethan snuggled next to us, was all that mattered.  it was beautiful.

but it was also 3:30 a.m.

and it beat me down the next day.  and i had a crick in my neck.  whatever.

i did a boat load of cleaning and errands on tuesday.  things that had to get done.  things that sucked the time and energy out of me.  but i ended tuesday with food in the fridge, my list checked off, and a clean house - including laundry.  i was exhausted.  my sinuses hurt with every step i took.  still prideful that my body could heal itself.  what. was. i. thinking.

wednesday came  and i enjoyed a morning visit from a sweet friend that lives out of town.  we ran errands... nothing special.  but it was nice.  i am spoiled to have such a good friend.  the best listener.  she's the one that is up-to-date on everything.  a week where i only talk to her a couple of times is strange... its usually more like 20 :)  but it was nice to see her in person.


anyway, after our visit and school pickup, my mother-in-law watched my kids so that i could work my junior league rodeo shift.  i love working my rodeo shift every year.  i even had new boots this year...but, each step of the way, from box to box of that matinee, all 5 of the whopping programs i sold... i felt my face.  horrible.  and why on earth had i not called for an antibiotic?  its like i was torturing myself.  my sinuses were taunting me. 

by the time i picked faustino up from the airport that night, i felt like death warmed over.  however, a wonderful thing worth noting:  my mother-in-law had made homemade chicken noodle soup that afternoon... so at least i had good food to eat that i didn't have to cook.  comfort food, in fact.

and then, luckily, my mother swooped in to save the day.  she stayed over on wednesday night to sit with our sleeping kids, while i picked my husband up from a long three days of travel.  and on thursday morning, i slept in half an hour later while she fed the littles breakfast... then it was off to the dentist, off to bible study, and bible study lunch... and costco because... i was co-hosting bunko.  and i managed to squeeze a junior league meeting in before that because lord knows i need all the meeting credits i can get at this point.

whew.  add in there a moment where i wanted to kick in another snarky mom's teeth and another moment where i thought i might walk out of bible study...

as one of my friends said: what?  both of those happened this week?  i would be emotionally fried.

well put.

and those of you who are friends of mine on facebook might recall the long thread of us bashing mom guilters.  i should print it off and read it every couple of days.  :)  thank you.

now, for thursday, add in time with friends... friends that i had not seen in awhile.  bunko was fun.  even junior league was fun.  and even parts of bible study were nice.

then friday came.  i rested.  i skipped a large chick-fil-a playdate because, quite frankly, that sounded like a small slice of hell.  it rained.  the kids were out of school for the day and where i normally am sad i don't have a morning of solitude, i was was singing praises that the kids could stay in their jammies late into the morning and i didn't have to push them to get ready.

and that was my week. 

i started taking the antibiotics on friday... and things are looking up.  and now that i feel better, i guess i didn't realize how crappy i felt. 

this weekend we spent time outside.  made more homemade ice cream.  i started reading a great book.  i managed to scrape my energy together and cook some decent meals without resorting to my freezer stash of organic costco goodies.  and while it took three days to do it, i posted this to the blog.  sheesh!

xoxo, s