grateful

occasionally i read things, or see things, that make me aware in a way that i can't always access.  aware of how very, very lucky i am to have the privilege of living this life.  it is my honest opinion that most people in my life, myself included, move about blissfully unaware of the world.

on the plane to san francisco, i watched "this (illegal} american life," a documentary about people living in the united states that are undocumented.  and i understood the message they wanted to convey, etc.  i saw both sides, i saw the political slant, blahblahblah.

but what i also saw, and have thought of over and over again, was the family of the undocumented worker.  what his family's living situation is.  what it must be like living in a 2 room house.  living in a tiny village.  women doing all the farm work because all the men have gone to the u.s. to work, trying to send home as much money as they can.

it is heart breaking.

it chills me to the bone, really.  my ingratitude.  my selfishness.  my truly pampered life, as i sit in a warm home.  on my imac.  with a full stomach.... i could go on and on.

we are truly an ignorant bunch, no?  and i struggle with this... what i have.  what i might have in the future.  the inherent selfishness of man.  i can not logically wrap my mind around it.  and i consider myself to think very outside the box on these type of things.

and then today, i read this article about how our electronics are made.  and this isn't a new topic of thought for me.  in college, i gave great thought to garment manufacturing conditions.  the fact that often times, what we in our pampered lifestyles thought was absolutely horrid working conditions and child labor, was a much much better alternative to other truly horrifying things, like child trafficking.

but the glaring differences... the people who slave over our iphones.  ipads.  everything, really.  the image that so many of us try to convey... of being down-to-earth.  the times we downplay hiring help for something.  the things that everyone glosses over.  we are not so self-sufficient.  we have lots of people working for us indirectly.

we are so ignorant.  i am so ignorant.  and sometimes i am scared to learn the truth.