june is hard, but life is good

for the record:  none of the pictures go with the words.  okay, now that is cleared up:

i almost published a post yesterday.  it was in the quiet spaces of a quick catnap from ethan and savannah's normal afternoon nap.  it has been weeks upon weeks of zero daytime quiet.

and yesterday i had some.  it was gone in a flash, but nonetheless, was welcome.  the real message here is that i need to find my quiet daytime moments at sunrise.  hard truth.   


the start of the summer is hard for me.  there is a constant need for me.  my family needs me.  chores need me.  i am not even doing that great of a job at fulfilling their needs, and i feel depleted.  everyday.  somedays, i feel like i have really lost my brain.  other days i feel like i survived, but not thrived.  god has shown me how selfish i am.  very.



surely i am not the only mother that feels depleted by the end of may, only to realize that those were the easy days, and that june might do me in?  yes?  anyone out there??  because sometimes it seems like everyone else has it together.  and i am not talking about the folks who have their kids in a bunch of camps.  there is a string of hours in there which they can attempt to get it together.  me?  nah.  not together at all.

unless my husband is here, the kids want me to be their audience.  like, follow me into each room and demand attention.


i have to say that i DO love staying home with them.  and they are the MOST WONDERFUL part of my life.  and they are healthy and funny and silly and affectionate.  i am blessed.  that is not lost on me.  i just don't have my mother-act together.  i get selfish.  tired.  uptight.  impatient.  i want my best self to shine through and half the time i can't find it.


anyway, not to be all doom and gloom, the kids have been adorable and lovely at times.  ethan came in from vbs today and told his sister that he learned about caring and that he cared about her.  i was in the other room, so none of it was for show.  it was really sweet.

and savannah has been doing this thing lately where she'll say, "mommy, thank you for _____.  it makes me so happy!"

pretty stinkin' adorable.

and for every moment that there is whining and tears, there are others where there is complete harmony.


and for record keeping's sake, savannah has gotten two molars in.  it has made for some fun bedtimes.  or rather protests to bedtimes.  faustino and i have looked at each other several times, over an hour after she was put to bed, and we think, "really??"

also, savannah's big deal lately is telling me that she needs to go potty.  and she might.  or she might need to an hour later.  but she wants me in there with her.  for real.  and when you have a child screaming, "mom-meeeee!  i need to go po-teeeeeeee!" you have to listen.  and sit.  and try panties.  and clean t.t. puddles.

i bet you are jealous, right?  the toilet training stage is not my favorite.  but is it anybody's favorite??  i can think of a couple people.  i am going to think that they are liars.  :)


in other news, i am still plugging away with the paleo thing.  cheating here and there.  but being mostly good.  i cheat with wine.  yesterday i cheated with cheese.  i am making pesto tonight and i will be adding the parmesan cheese.  and wine.  see the third paragraph for reasons why :)

and a few dinners out.  dinners we were invited to.  not ones we initiated.   

okay.  so maybe i sound like a big cheater.  really, i am not.


i would say that eating this way has cleaned up my act.  and i would encourage anyone to eat this way.  it is healthier.  keep dairy if you want to, but treat sugar, grains, and processed foods as treats.  things you eat on occasion.  i am not going to say that it has caused me to lose a bunch of weight {only a few lbs} or has made me feel like super woman {although, i haven't felt bad at all} but it just makes sense to me.  lots of vegetables.  lean meats.  fruit.  nuts.  it seems absurd to really argue with it.


and i think this year i have made the best use of our garden harvest.  fresh tomatoes.  zucchini chips!  lots of sauteed squash.  now i just need to do a better job with the venison.  speaking of the garden,  it is so dry and crispy out, i cringe when i have to go water the garden.  i am hoping that if i can keep it alive i can enjoy it some in the fall.  there is an entire row empty and ready after we harvested {nearly 30 lbs!} of potatoes.  i think i might just plant a bunch of sunflowers.  suggestions??


and completely unrelated:  my dear friend sabrina snapped photos of my rascals and worked her magic last week.  she was able to make both of them smile at the same time without buying them toys or candy.  i need to learn her tricks, huh?


and one more thing, i am liking the whole instagram thing.  you can follow me there @blessourlittlenest.  are you on instagram?  if so, let me know and i will follow you back.  its nice to grab some snapshots of the day-to-day and share them.  and see what other people's day-to-day look like.  you know, when i am sitting in the bathroom for an hour with a potty training toddler.  :)

xoxo, s



  1. Hi Stephanie! Alexis (Young) Lantz here from Baylor :) I've read your lovely blog from time to time, and just wanted to say it's adorable! I found today's blog post very timely, and interesting, because it highlights how we all have our struggles and bad times, and how it's soooo easy to assume that others have it figured out or have it better than you or are happier than you. So many times I will be sitting at my desk at work and I will see photos of my friends at home with their little ones and I will think "now THAT would be the life! How nice would it be to be a stay-at-home mom playing with my kids instead of sitting at my desk all day." It's so tempting to think the grass is greener on the other side. You mentioned in your blog how you oftentimes think that other mom's have it together...though in reality everyone is just struggling to keep it all together. This is just a good reminder to be content, whatever our circumstances. There is a card sitting at my desk that I constantly look at: "I will embrace my current season of life and live with a spirit of contentment." I keep it right in front of me because I need minute-by-minute reminders! "True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." 1 Timonthy 6:6 (I'm trying to commit that one to memory :) Thanks for your honesty!

    1. oh alexis! thank you for your kind words. you are right, everyone is struggling to keep it all together. and i am going to copy 1 tim 6:6 - because contentment is what i need to strive for. thank you for your very timely encouragement.

  2. Girlfriend, there are times when I bury myself up to my neck in a bubble bath and think "How will I ever be a mother if I can barely keep myself together?" You're in good company... and we're both okay... we just are normal and get tired sometimes, overwhelmed at others, and then have really great moments in between. Don't give up! And if it helps - my sweet baby nephew pooped all over my super cute outfit the other night. Then again, he also pooped all over someone's white couch. At least yours is mostly going in the toilet these days. :)

    1. bethe - the big secret about motherhood is that it takes years to evolve. a newborn is hard, but they sleep. and don't talk. or, heavens, beg. anyway... god gives it to you little by little. and the friends and family to encourage you. and don't be disillusioned: only one child has the waste that mostly goes in the toliet :)

  3. Stephanie, it was so refreshing to read this post. I've been on the verge of meltdowns lately and I only have one child. And she can't even walk yet! I'm really jealous of all of the produce from your garden, too.

    1. i wish i could say the meltdowns get better. for them and for us! staying at home with your children without much outside help is a labor of love and sacrifice. it's okay to go in the closet and eat a bag of cadbury mini eggs. unless you are trying to eat paleo :) hang in there!

  4. i just picked up, "the mission of motherhood" by sally clarkson. it's a challenge, but is changing my thought process of being a mother. it's like "purposeful" motherhood. that doesn't mean chores don't need to get done and you don't need time for yourself. because YOU DO!!!! BUT nevertheless, it's helped me to take a step back and view this as a season! ugh! so so so hard!! also - love your update on the paleo thing. we've been trying to eat whole foods, but i still have whole grains & dairy. just whole milk dairy and less processed stuff. i've been doing it for about two weeks and i had a few chicken bits from sonic with the kids the other day and 20 minutes later my stomach was REELING! it's amazing how fast it makes a difference in how we FEEL! right?? seriously though, you're a GREAT mom. seriously!

    1. you are so right on about "the mission of motherhood" i have had the sample downloaded in ibooks for awhile, and i really liked it. i will buy it today. i need to hear that message. and go you! eating whole foods is hard, huh? takes more time, planning, etc. but SO worth it. i can't handle the "crap" anymore either. and i feel like sugar gives me headaches now. craziness. if you ever get to a point where you cut out grains, you will be shocked at how your system enjoys omitting them! can we get together this summer? would love to see you before we leave for california... xoxo,s

  5. 1. When did Savannah become a little girl? Oh my goodness! And her long hair is beautiful!!!

    2. The fact that you have a garden at all...screams "having it together." I'm lucky if I have had the time to have bought produce at the store!

    3.Glad y'all have been having fun this summer, and glad you are drinking wine! :)

    4. Colby is in full swing at JPS, which translates to seeing him every 4-5 days since our shifts are opposite...sadness. He saw Faustino the other day! :)

    5. Would love to see you sometime soon this summer! You could bring the kiddos over to the pool some day!

    1. hi joanna!!!!
      1. i know, right? you should hear what she says. total little girl. no baby. :(
      2. hmmm... garden totally makes it sound all together. reality. not all together. at all. and the garden is a weedy mess.
      3. wine. is. necessary. trader joe's $2.99 bottles do the trick!
      4. hang on for the ride! i am sure he will do great. but sadness, indeed on the opposite shifts.
      5. YES!!! tell me when! tues and thurs are our best bets right now... but august is really open, too.

      xoxo, s


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