basically, if i give it my all, it's tough :)

hmmm.... first off, this is not a post about ethan's birthday party.  at our tae kwon do studio... ninja turtle themed.... i just wanted to post these.  i did absolutely nothing to make this party a complete success (reserve the space?  i mean, a padded room, a bunch of kids, two party leaders and cake.  e a s y)  well... i did make 40 ninja turtle masks.  and i did at the last minute find a replacement cake.  so not completely effortless.  but close :)  totally the way to do it.  

anyway, the real post.

today at yoga, the instructor droned on about setting our intentions.  and living with intentions.  she talked about how hard it was... how it makes all the difference.

well, no joke.

i've been struggling to do it everyday now... probably going on 3 years.  since before i had savannah.  it's tiresome.  rewarding, but so tiresome.  being intentional with my children, my husband, my job as our home-maker, myself and how i treat my body, my food choices.

why does she look so old??

it will wear a girl out.  and i still fall flat on my face and fail all the time.  all.  the.  time.


and occasionally, i get skewed one way in the intention category.  skewed far away from myself.  and occasionally, i look in the mirror, and i think, "hello, stranger."

its not just me, other moms do this too. and i'm only sane because i know i am not alone.

check out the mask... i have leftovers... want them?  

hate to throw perfectly good ninja turtle masks out... :)

but i desperately need margins.  i know that everyone needs different sized margins, but for some reason i think i desire extra large margins.  and it should come as no surprise (it is my fifth season of spring at our preschool) that the fine folks at our preschool have a way of shrinking the weeks down into nothing.  holidays.  conference days.  spring break days.  staff development days.  god forbid you have a sick day or a snow day in the mix.  don't get me even a teensy bit started on what a rip off that is.    sheesh! 

so, my children have school from 9 to noon.  we drop off and pick up outside the classroom door.  it means i have roughly 2.5 hours, twice a week where they are both taken care of and loved on by sweet teachers.

5 hours, people.

and i am being intentional.

and i have a need for wide margins.

so that's why i sometimes ditch hours of sleep for hours of late night solitude.  i can read.  i can sit.  i can just "be." and here is the best part, it's in the quiet.

please tell me you sacrifice your sleep for this worthy cause, too?  and then, please tell me how you cope with being intentional while you are so tired the next day.

ethan was intense with the cake.  
possibly because they aren't getting refined sugar too often these days.  #yikesiamoneofthosemoms

 

savannah was too.  she had more than one piece... that child...

i am sure you are wondering at this point if i am of sound mind to homeschool next year.  this is were i have to tell my self to not be afraid.  and to believe that it will be like this year, just with really REALLY intentional lessons.

and probably less house cleaning, if that is even possible.

oh boy.  i need to go bury my head in the sand because we are leaving in less than six months.

xoxo, s