pathetic

life is swirling by me...  and i am writing none of it down.  and that is pathetic. 

insert extreme mom guilt.

but you know what?  it is okay.  because i am trying again.  and that's what you do when you want to keep moving forward.  you get up, you try again.

so... did i even do a proper christmas recap post?  no?  hahahha.  not surprising.  to fully recap at this point is downright silly.  so here is the short of it:  santa gave savannah a dollhouse.  she loves it.  ethan got a pellet gun.  he's "killed" a rabbit.  that we ate.  and it was good (really!).  and i let go of my desire for beauty and perfection with christmas and it was very nice.

there is something to be said about honestly embracing the season of life in which we are living.  which means giving up yearning for beautiful matching stockings and gorgeous live garlands.  it ain't gonna happen for a couple more years.  period.  and that is a-okay.

so for january... i did a lot of january things:   survive the flu.  clean up my diet.  work out a lot.  wear heavy jackets and shorts in the same week.  have a birthday party for ethan.  have our internet repaired -- again.  make a pilgrimage to ikea for organization containers.  make multiple trips to goodwill.  

and then there are things we haven't done because this is our last year here -- like plan a garden.  and for this i am sad. 

and then there are things that i wanted to do in january that i will pathetically try to implement in february:  my cleaning schedule.  more intentional "lesson time" with my kids.  waking up early.  going to be early.  reading quality literature to myself.  the kids.

living an intentional life is brutally hard.  and completely rewarding.  and my goal is to document it here.  our food.  our life.  our move.  creativity.  friendship.  hardship.

cheers to february. 

xoxo, s