on saturday a friend asked me how my week had been and i looked at her blankly.
the week. i had no idea. my mind was really blank. as in, no memory. it took me a day {i am not exaggerating} to reflect and piece my week back together... a dr.'s appt. on monday, a stay at home chore day on tuesday, an impromptu visit with a friend on wednesday, ethan's haircut thursday, and homemade pasta on friday. just don't ask me what we ate for dinner or breakfast, or what i wore... i do not know. i must have been on autopilot.
in a moment of clarity, i realized a very simple fact. i am not taking proper care of myself.
i do not exercise. at all. and i won't count the ever-so cliche "i run after my kids" because, really, it isn't intentional exercise.
my sleeping patterns are horrid. i stay up way to late. get up early. feel sleepy and run down all day, and then guzzle caffeine. sounds really healthy, no?
my diet leaves a lot to be desired. i give the healthy stuff to my kids and then skip meals and eat crap. i do eat some healthy things, just not as consistently as i should. and i can truly say: my favorite food is butter.
if my children were not getting enough sleep, or not physically active, or not eating well -- i would be upset. but here i am, not taking care of myself, and i am my children's example.
soo... i'll be working on this. and by putting this on here, i feel like i will try to be more accountable. in fact, i'll let you know how i did next monday. because i need to make changes quickly...
please tell me some of you do this too... am i alone??
xoxo, s
It's the great battle all women face - feeling guilty for not taking care of others enough, then feeling guilty for not taking care of ourselves. I'm not a mom and I still struggle to find balance, I can only imagine what it's like with two precious little ones! Good luck, and don't beat yourself up too hard!
ReplyDeleteButter? YUM!! You are so not alone. Just this afternoon as I was looking at the bags under my eyes I thought, "damn girl, we have to do something about this!!" I stopped drinking soda, but I really need to drink more water. And stop skipping dinner so that I can eat a bowl of ice cream with strawberry sauce, cherries, and whipped cream.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I eat total junk, drink too much coffee (and often wine) and stay up late doing random stuff! I feel ya.
ReplyDeleteI do this constantly too. Seriously, if you call me at 5pm and asked me how my morning was, I won't remember. It is crazy! Good for you for resolving to make a change. That is farther than I have gotten. You can do it!
ReplyDelete