Advice from Ethan

when my kids do something or say something really funny, i am going to start posting it.  wouldn't it be tragic to forget these pearls?  i think so.


so, for those who don't know, we live in a house wedged between the highway and businesses...several of which are restaurants.  {jolly good fun.  i tell, ya}

those restaurants supply food via the dumpsters for a large army of feral cats and the occasional feral human.

of course we have chip and chop, the alley cats that sleep in my front yard, roaming about constantly.  but now, every time i look out the window or open the door, i see AT LEAST one new cat.

and lordy.  they are noisy.

i suppose its that time of year in the animal kingdom.

anyway, because of the ice storm and roads being dangerous a few weeks ago, ethan heard quite a bit of adult jabber to the extent of "be careful" right before someone left the house.

well.

last week, i was leaving the house for something... where was i going?  who knows.  blockbuster?  braums?  it was dark outside... i think faustino and my mother-in-law were home.

anyway, ethan pulled me down to his level and said, "mom, be careful."

i said, "oh, i will.  i'll be right back.  it's no big deal, sweetie."

and he said, "be careful.  there's wild cats out there."  very serious.  big eyes.  completely confused now by my fits of laughter.

my silly little man.

Zoo Time

so the weather here has been a delight.  its been in the 60's/70's/80's... i am in heaven.  we've been outside a lot... {unfortunately, the pollen is outside too... i am super sensitive to these sorts of things} but anyway, we went to the zoo before my face got big and puffy, like it is now.

i was just taking photos, not bothering too much with the mechanics of everything like i should have been.  i need tutorials from my friend Sabrina... {who by the way, is starting a photography business and is super talented, and has a killer, can't pass it up deal right now... if you are local, you need to call her asap, while she is still dirt cheap!!}

i didn't pay attention to the background like i should have either.

oh well.  better luck next time.  {sister was getting fussy if that counts for excuses...}



in this one, savannah is trying to say:  "mom, i don't care about the 'mingos that brother keeps talking about.  the sun is in my eyes... my pants are too tight..."




but i was excited about the flamingo babies.  they are gray!  too cute!






savannah was quite entertained with ethan's antics - pushing the stroller around from the front.









this one is not in focus because...



i was trying to prevent this:





and then, her patience was  g o n e.  no smiles for mommy.






why won't they look at me??? why didn't i see that big sign and move my angle. geez.





{but isn't it cute how she held on to his leg?? and how he looks at her?}





and you don't know it, but in this picture, he is saying "shhhh, sa-nana. it's okay" swoon. melt. i am mush.





do your kids "blow bubbles" and think its funny.  GROSS.




but bubbles or not... he is precious.

Thank You

thank you for your sweet encouraging texts, conversations, comments and messages.  have a lovely weekend!



p.s. check out that squishy savannah thigh...

The State of Stephanie

we've had a bit of a roller coaster here with the weather.  warm, cold. FREEZING. wretched.  pleasant.  pitiful. lovely.  WONDERFUL. 

my outlook on life has followed suit.   

where do i even start?

valentine's day... was, eh, low key this year.  i did get flowers and chocolates from my husband.  but i didn't go to elaborate measures for a feast that evening.  i thought he was on call {and so did he} so the dinner i had planned was a braum's frozen pizza.

i did, however, completely copy jump on the bandwagon for the "wheelie" valentines' for ethan.  i mean, if you have a little boy that loves cars, how can you resist?  why can't i come up with these adorable ideas on my own?  and why don't i just accept it and move on rather than beat myself up??




i've also got to tell you that i finally read the wonderful book that has been sitting on my nightstand for the last few months.  it was a fill-you-up-with-love-and-gratitude kind of book.  and quite frankly, i needed that.

another point to note has been the difficult world of potty training.  it is like "sleeping through the night" -- people must be LYING about some of their success.  perhaps "lying" is too strong, shall i say, "shedding a rosy light" on the matter...

anyway, after i bought generic pull ups and had ethan meltdown about it, i realized it was high time to go all in on potty training.  if he was that upset about the design on his tush, he could take ownership of this process.  so, i went all in.  pull ups are only for sleeping.  we even attended church with ethan in his big boy underwear, accident free.  then we went out for lunch, accident free.  i even pulled over at a dairy queen on the northside to run ethan into the potty when he said he had to go.  {where is my mommy merit badge for that one??}

i really was shocked when the puddle appeared under the chair at chick-fil-a.  i mention all this because i have been hyper-aware of the potty habits of my children {savannah needs help going.  always.}    on my way to my rhetoric meeting the other evening, i was reflecting on my day, and i was so excited that i was able to witness both children having good poo's before i left for the night {i know, i know, i am over-sharing}  but SERIOUSLY.  what is wrong with this picture?  do you have any idea what kind of mental hamster wheel you are on when you are focused on a 3 year old's potty time?   



moving on.

i must say, i have found real peace in the windows being open, and hearing the the southern breeze rustle the leaves on the trees and bushes.  and i have been making an effort to be very intentional and present.

i've gotten more sleep.  i've reduced caffeine. 

but i've also been a mess.  and maybe the weather brought it on... thinking about living places where our "out of the ordinary" frozen tundra is the norm.  or perhaps the solitude of the snow days...

whatever spurred it, the fact is, i am TERRIFIED about what comes after residency.  real anxiety over it.  where will ethan start kindergarten?  who will his friends be?  will we find a good preschool for savvy?  who will MY friends be?  what are the logistics of moving?  and then moving again a year later?  and what happens after fellowship???

my mind will not stop.

i've lived here since 2004.  i find an honest sense of home in seeing familiar faces.  i find reassurance in knowing what i am up against with my surroundings.  it's not that i don't think it will be sort of cool to live somewhere else for a year {and possibly, somewhere really awesome}, its just that as a mom, i feel like i don't have it all together as it is... and i am on my home turf, here.  what happens when we are gone, i have no friends, a count of zero in my support system, and maybe even a new "culture" living in a different part of the country?? i hyperventilate if i start thinking {too much} about it all.  i swear, i am not exaggerating. 

i think that i am so used to being stuck in the purgatory of my husband's medical training {stuck between school and real life} that it is horribly frightening to think about what comes next.  and the "where" of what comes next. 

i pray that i mesh with a few people.  and not the pseudo social mesh.  the real deal.

i just can.not.shake. the absolute dread of it all.  and then after fellowship, it's the real deal.  and that is terrifying too.  before too long, decisions will be made and things will be set in motion.  it's almost like climbing over a hill and when you get to the top, the midway point on your journey, you see that in the distance there is an even bigger hill that awaits you.  

i mean, if we are really candid, isn't everyone scared that they will get to their "one day" and it not measure up to what they were planning?  i just think that the "one day" of a medical journey is so starkly contrasted by the path to get there, that it really illuminates things that might be more subtle in other peoples journey's.  is this even making sense anymore??!?   

mercy!  i could go on and on about this.

what i really should be doing is channeling this energy into exercise!  but am i?  nah...

instead i will do some reality steve reading about this season's bachelor.  mindless vegging... because what is more fun than that??

xoxo, s

Mayhem & Milestones

i'm tired.  in a happy kind of way.  i've really been enjoying the kids lately... savannah hasn't been to school in 3 weeks thanks to 2 snow days and parent teacher conference day.  but, really, it hasn't been bad.   seriously.



although i just had to take a time out.  so i am a bit more refreshed after parenthood + couch + sugar free redbull + children asleep.  faustino just called from work to find out how my lunch date went, and i didn't even sugar coat the fact that i was recovering on the couch.



recovering from our first big boy underwear tt accident in public.  mercy.  this mom thing can beat you down...  thank god i had a sweet friend with me to watch savannah...  {although super mom in the booth next to us had the whole control-your-kid snarl thing going on.  she had two girls.  enough said.}

so... our milestones.

::  big boy underwear, all the time.  naps and nighttime in pullups.  it was time.  i don't have it in me to elaborate on it right now.

::  feb. 9th savannah got her top left tooth... feb. 13th she got the top right.

::  savannah stood up on her own {not pulling up!!  she does that all the time...} 4 times at the chick-fil-a play place.  she was proud!

::  last friday she waved and meant it... clapping and waving on cue all the time... and occasionally will wave a "hello" and know that she is doing just that!

hmmm... my happy time just ended.  both kids are now crying.  nice.  naptime's over...



i'll be back... i've been inspired to post about living in the present moment, being my unguarded, authentic self.

xoxo, s

Savannah at Nine Months

savannah is {slightly more than} 9 months old.  9 months.  can you believe that?  i think it is crazy how quickly time passes.  CRAZY.  being a mom lets you experience that most insane time vacuum.  time passes slowly and quickly... and is a blur at times.  wasn't i just in that newborn fog? {or perhaps i still am...}  those first six months... ugh.


{it looks like she should get her top teeth any day now... but its been like that for a week and a half.  so who knows.}

but, back to savannah

she has quite the sweet personality... she is very curious, yet quiet and calm.  she doesn't sit still long enough to snuggle, and i don't know how she manages to nurse so quickly -- but she does.  she is on the move, pulling up on everything and everyone.  moving from point a to point b in lightning speed.  putting everything in her mouth.  {i love it when she has a paci in -- she isn't putting everything into her mouth!  it's like a plug!}  i really couldn't ask for an easier baby. 

for my own record keeping, the savannah info:

goodnight and good morning...
we put her down to bed around 7:30 in the evening {mostly easy peasy} and she is waking up anywhere from 5:30 - 7:30 in the morning.  her waking depends on not only her own clock, but how early my husband has to round on his patients... i think that when he is up and she is in a lighter state of sleep, she hears him getting ready for work... {remember, our nest is on the teeny tiny side}


naptime...
right now, a morning nap is critical, but sometimes tricky, as i try to balance ethan's school "window of errand running time" with a little girl that needs to nap.  sometimes it doesn't work out so well.  at. all.  and then the kids nap at the same time in the afternoon {around 2:00} but they are in the same room.  again, sometimes it doesn't work out so well.  at. all.  :)


{in this picture, she totally passed out after school... i still had to put sheet on her bed so i put her on the floor...  she never stirred!  what a sleepy baby.  99% of the time she will only sleep in her crib after i have put her down.  this was so rare!}

food...
she nurses 3 - 5 times a day... its usually more like four, but it's not like it really affects her nap schedule anymore.  sometimes she is too busy to be interested in sitting still to nurse.

and lordhavemercy, she can eat.  she's become quite agitated at the table if she thinks that she is getting something different from us... so as of the last wednesday in january, we've given her table food torn into small pieces.  she loves it.

and i give her juice and miralax once a day... enough about that :)

on the move...
her growth chart specifics:  20 lbs, 10 oz.  and she is 27.75 inches... {but last time she was 28 inches... so something is amiss with her 6 7 month stats... my friend had an issue like this with her pedi... do they have issues measuring?  hmmm....}  anyway, she's following the same growth curve, i think she's 75% for weight...she really seems to be slowing down a bit on the massive growing streak.  right now we just switched to size 4 diapers when we wear disposables at night and on the go {cloth diapers at home now that we conquered a 2 month stint of diaper rash}  i know that she is under the weight range for size 4, but i assure you, she needs them. we are mostly in size 12 months clothing.  except i try when i can to put her in larger bottoms... she's just so...umm... squishy.

she has been enamored with wooden puzzles lately, playing with them with her brother.  he enjoys her... they are adorable to watch.  he calls her sah-nana...  i melt.


{i cheated and edited out peas and puffs that were littering my floor.  i had to tell you to keep it real, but it really made me look like a sloppy housekeeper.   even though they had just fallen off the table minutes before.}

she is so easy going i still can't believe it.  she requires me to be incredibly "hands on" right now because she is into everything and is fearless.  i have to really watch her.  she is active and wriggly, so i have a hard time changing her on the changing table.  in fact, when i pin her down to change her diaper, that is really the only time she gives me any grief.  she doesn't mind getting dressed though.  she's been wearing hair bows in her fine, blond hair.  she tolerates them wonderfully.  i think it is so cute.

i could ramble on and on about her, which is what i think i am doing.  i think it's a mom thing.  :)

A Little on the Geeky Side

i try to run away from technology when i can {mostly because it is too $$}  i mean, we have a digital converter box and no cable if that tells you anything.  and the only 3D movie i've seen is at disney.  {what!  people watch at home now?!?}

try as i may to RUN AWAY, slowly but surely, it is taking over my life. 

for example, i have resorted to potty training via iPad bribes.  for real.  everyday, it's "make a good choice, and you can play the iPad."  "no accidents and you can play the iPad"  "wear big boy underwear, and you are one step closer to playing the iPad"  it works better than anything else i have found in the potty bribing realm.  do you have any favorite kids' apps to recommend?  we've been playing the same 5 over and over.  snooze.

and while we are on the subject of the iPad, i must tell you that i think it is the most lovely and genius thing on the planet.  it is perfect in every way except it is hard to read in the sunlight and it doesn't support flash.  {which, i am sure they will improve, but it will be awhile before i upgrade... }  anyway, it is my right arm...

and my favorite app?  the flipboard!  because i have my google reader synced up to it...  {do you use a reader?  i use and love google reader.  isn't it the most wonderful thing?  if you read more than a couple of blogs, it really is a godsend time saver...  and its free.}  anyway, this is a really easy peasy tutorial on the google reader if you need it... and then you could click on the button on the side of my blog and subscribe to all the updates about our very little nest.  {900 sq. feet to be exact.  i think i've mentioned that before.  perhaps i am stir crazy still from last week.}  but back to flipboard... ahh... it is lovely.

and one final technology tidbit i must complain about is Mozy.  I AM SO ANGRY ABOUT MOZY.  you see, last week, if you had asked me about Mozy, i would have said "i love it, it gives me peace of mind, and its cheap."  what is Mozy, you ask?  it WAS all of my computer {photos and music, especially} all backed up to the server in the sky, so that if my computer was ever stolen or destroyed, they would just send me all of my files... presto!  well, now they have taken the "unlimited" storage away and hello!  do you know how memory heavy a digital photo is these days???  geez.  so i have had to change companies... which is fine, but your initial backup takes FOREVER.  no really.  forever.  i lucked out with Mozy, because the computer was relatively new, and there wasn't 310GB to back up.... so i switched to Crash Plan, but it looks like i will just have to wait a few months to get everything backed up {because i am too cheap to swing the $150 for them to ship me a hard drive}  so i have to figure out some sort of double coverage until i get things moved over.  bleh.

do you have an iPad?  a google reader?  Mozy?  am i all alone in my geekiness here?? 

sister had a well visit {with shots} this morning... so i have a sleepy little bean on my hands.  i've got to rescue our house {it is a pit from the weekend} and our floors {the weather made them less than clean}  and we are out of vital food... like milk.  so i must go to the store...  BUT, then i will be back with a post to detail all of Savannah's 9 month -ness.

anyway, technology pictures are boring.  so here is sister in the snow.   in her jammies with daddy.  less than thrilled.



xoxo, s

A Stark Contrast to my Attire During Snow Week

because this week has been all about warm, comfy layers that resemble pajamas...

Life and the Contradictions of Texas Weather

it's pretty freeze-y outside.  there are a lot of cheesy cliches thrown around here... wait a few days and the weather will change, blah, blah, blah.  we-el... that is the honest truth.  and this photo of ethan outside is the end of the 3 minutes he spent "playing" in the snow.  we are done.

the weather last week was wonderful.  i mean, won.der.ful.  we went to the zoo... we played outside.  i wore short sleeves....

bliss.

and then, i bought this dress... for free{ish}... a $400 dress, 70% off + a gift card i didn't realize that i had.  you see, i had a formal to go to this past weekend, and i felt like borrowing a dress would be so college.  i am resisting with every bone in my body going on a residency rant about how we don't have any money for the extras.  cocktail dresses are extras.  this was a god send.  because god cares about cocktail dresses??

i didn't even need to worry about a wrap, much less a coat, on saturday night.

i also got a spray tan.  they've come a long way.  and the price reflects it!  luckily i played coy and they gave me a "trial" tan to see if i was interested in buying a package {yes, please.  3.5 years from now, thanks}

and luckily i have a friend that suggested i do this at the end of my day because you can't get wet at all for 8 hours after you tan.  clearly this was not designed for a stay at home mom with a baby and a toddler.  perhaps in 3.5 years the "wait" time will be shorter.  {dishes, bath time, diaper changes gone wrong.  the possibilities for liquid on the skin are endless}

i must tell you though, the tan was awesome.  you can't tell in the photo i pirated from a friend on facebook {iphone quality} but i had some color!  and i wasn't orange.



and the weather on saturday was awesome.  i know that photos in the high noon sun are terrible, but i couldn't resist taking my camera outside with us.







i love these squishy legs.  and cloth diapers.

fast forward two days and i am awakened by sleet pelting against the house and seeing our world covered by a blanket of ice in the morning.

its the kind of ice that no one likes to drive in.  i am a self proclaimed weather trooper {it's never that bad} but this time it was.  i ventured out on tuesday and then promptly turned around.  seriously, its been crazy icy here.  i got out today and it wasn't so bad, but there were icy spots.  and faustino drove slid down a neighborhood street sideways.

of course the kids' school was canceled.  there goes my wednesday morning of peace.

so i have been doing a lot of this lately.



and i am caught up on the entire tivo.  i know, notable, right?

and there is a tent set up in my living room.  folks, fyi, that means there is no space to walk in the living room.  so now that the munchkins are in bed... the tent comes down.

g'night.  stay warm.

xoxo, s